Down the Drains
by Ulitheal
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke were on the same squad, but then they were switched. Kakashi curious goes to investigate, because of this a rumor starts that everyone has to find the truth of. One-shot. Slight SasuNaru KakaIru


**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto or any of it's characters. **

Also note to all readers. If you did not like shonen ai which is same sex relationship then this is not for you. This story will have many hints of boy/boy relationship. You are warned so do not complain to me about it.

* * *

It was a hard day, they had just got back from their mission and were finally heading home. It had been a couple of weeks since they last saw each other because the Hokage sent them on different missions with different teams. They used to be on the same team but got complaints from the other team members about the noise they made. Apparently the shouts and screams of 'teme' and 'dobe' were very annoying to their teammates. So now different teams and missions were all they were able to do. They saw each other last month and it was right before they left on missions. Now he would be able to see Sasuke again because no missions for a little while. He looked up, now he was in front of the Uchiha manor all he had to do was walk in. As he walked through the front door he looked around, food was sitting out on the table showing Sasuke was expecting him. Sitting down he began to eat, soon Sasuke came down and joined him. They ate in silence, which was kind of surprising if other people were to see them together. The usual thing a person would expect would be insults and taunts being passed back and fourth between the two teens. When they finished Naruto followed Sasuke up to the bedroom. 

As they reached the bedroom they walked in and Sasuke turned on the TV. Moans and groans were soon being emitted from the TV; the boys eyes were riveted on the television and more moans were heard. Kakashi who was coming to visit his two students stood outside the window. All he could see was the back of two heads and he could only hear the moans and screams. His one eye was widening as he heard the two boys conversation.

"Sasuke, do you think we could try that?"

"Dobe, the position is all wrong. Plus you don't have the right equipment."

An invisible leer appeared on Kakashi's face. He had heard they were moved to different teams, but he hadn't thought about why. Was it because they were doing XXXXX to each other and the XXXXX was bothering the other shinobi? Or was it because the XXXXX made them feel things that at certain moments could compromise the mission? He couldn't wait to tell Jiraiya and Iruka that Sasuke and Naruto were doing XXXXX with each other. Shaking his head he looked back at the two, the TV was still on but they weren't watching. The were doing something with their hands and talking.

"C'mon teme, please can we try it? Also I got bottom."

"No, we can't and I've got bottom."

A huge urge to go running to his house and grab all of his Icha, Icha Paradise books was starting to become overwhelming. If he left though he wouldn't see and hear what was happening, he would miss something. Hold on, did he hear someone say Henge, was that a females voice now.

"Now do I have the right equipment, teme?"

"Yeah dobe, you have the right equipment."

A shrill scream filled the air, that had to be Naruto, only he could have that high a voice. Sudden movement pulled him from his pervert dream, Naruto just lunged at Sasuke. He had taken Sasuke as the dominant one, but from the sounds of it Naruto was. Drool would be running down his face if his facemask hadn't stopped it. He couldn't see what was happening but he could hear it. Shrieks, moans, and groans could be heard from his spot, occasionally he would see an arm or leg from the front of the couch. Oh how the girls would weep when they learned Sasuke and Naruto were lovers. Kakashi leaped down from the tree, he had to go find Iruka, he was feeling especially perverted right now. Iruka would help him calm down his perversion, he snickered at the thought. Sakura-chan would kill Naruto when everyone found out. Hmmmm maybe he ought to tell Gai and then tell him it was a secret. Everyone would know by the end of the day, laughing he teleported to Iruka.

* * *

Panting Sasuke stopped and Naruto paused. Sasuke looks around the room, then looks out the window. No one was there but he could swear he sensed someone watching. The person had to be good if he only just sensed them. He glanced over at Naruto, but the dobe was totally oblivious to everything around him. Standing up he motioned fro Naruto to follow him to a more secure area.

* * *

Iruka was in tears, the only thing Kakashi could compare to how Iruka must be feeling is what a mother feels when her child grows up. At first Iruka didn't believe him when he told him, but then he began to think. After mumbling for a little while Iruka finally said 'You hate what you love and you love what you hate' and then burst into tears. Sighing softly Kakashi patted Iruka on the back thankful he waited until after before telling Iruka about Naruto and Sasuke's love affair. 

"Kakashi-san, my little Naruto is all grown up!" Iruka said as he began to cry more. Sighing again he figured it was going to be a long night. At least he told Gai and Jiraiya before coming to Iruka. He laughed mentally remembering how Gai and Jiraiya reacted.

:3 Hours Ago:

"Okay Gai, you can quit stalking me now."

The bushes to his right rustled a bit before Gai in all his green leotard glory leaped out. Shouting something Gai chattered on before he posed, mentally standing on the edge of a cliff with sunlight making a halo around him and waves crashing against the cliff. Lifting his nose from his book Kakashi asked him to repeat that. _Oh woes! How can my rival act so cool?!?_

"Very well, Kakashi. Since you have requested my presence how may I help you?"

"You were stalking me, get it right."

"I was not stalking you my rival. I was checking the soil and you just happened to be near me as I did so," Gai said as he posed again.

"Fine. You were trying to peep one me. You know all you had to do was ask," saying this Kakashi put his hands to his pants and began to pull down. Gai looked shocked and as Kakashi pulled at his pants had a massive nosebleed and passed out. Laughing Kakashi muttered 'too easy' and reached down for Gai. When Gai finally awoke Kakashi began to tell Gai about Naruto and Sasuke. After Gai quit crying about young love, Kakashi told him it was a secret and he couldn't tell anyone. Gai swore that no torture could make him tell this secret and went away.

* * *

His students were up ahead, Lee was challenging Neji to a match. Watching his students tears cam to his eyes. _Oh young love, defying all bounds between sex and personality._

"Gai-sensei, what is wrong?"

"Oh Lee if you were to love a man I would support you. As Kakashi supports Naruto and Sasuke!"

"WH-WHAT?" Lee screamed his eyes flashing in shock. Even the arrogant look on Neji's face took a slightly shocked look.

"Yes, my young students. Naruto and Sasuke have admitted their passionate love for one another."

"Passionate love?!?"

"Yes, Kakashi caught them doing XXXXX to one another."

"XXXXX…" Lee murmured to himself. Standing there he suddenly burst into tears of joy. He and Gai cried in each others arms talking about the passionate love of Sasuke and Naruto. They began to shout to the world about how they would protect true love in all of it's forms.

"We sure do have a weird teacher and teammate, neh Neji-kun?"

"Yeah, Tenten."

* * *

:2 Hours Ago: 

"So Kakashi, Naruto and Sasuke doing XXXXX with one another. Never thought the brat would do XXXXX with anyone much less Sasuke. Screams like a little girl when I catch a sight of him only in his boxers."

" I know Jiraiya . Caught me by surprise, but I always thought Naruto would turn out to be a pervert with that Sexy no Jutsu of his."

"I always thought Sasuke was. Maybe my next book ought to have a yaoi love scene for the ladies."

With that both men began to talk about the Icha, Icha Paradise books. From there the talks went to information gathering for the books. All the places one could get good information, then to the variety of uses Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu could be put to. Drool began to form and go down Jiraiya's face as he thought about Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu form. Maybe he ought to go visit the two boys.

* * *

:Present Time: 

By now the news of the love affair had spread throughout the village. Many girls and some men were heartbroken at the loss of Sasuke and a secret few over Naruto. One thing was certain, a certain pink haired shinobi was out for blood of a certain blond haired ninja.

"NAAAA-RUTOOOOO!!!" A scream heard throughout the village made dogs cringe and little babies cry at the rage in the scream. Unfortunately the boy in question did not hear the scream of rage because he was distracted with the last Uchiha. A small gathering was forming in the square of Konoha (AN: Assuming there is a square) of many chunnin, some genin and few jounin. Rock Lee was trying to comfort Sakura by asking her out, Ino was hanging onto Shikamaru, and Kakashi and Gai were having a match. At the head of the gathering Jiraiya was giving out free copies of his Icha, Icha Paradise books.

"Alright everyone, let us go peep on, err, visit Sasuke and Naruto."

"I'LL KILL NARUTO FOR DEFLOWERING MY SASUKE-KUN!!"

"This is too troublesome."

"Oh the powers of true love, Sasuke and Naruto."

"SASUKE-KUN DOES NOT LOVE NARUTO. HE LOVES ME BUT IS TOO SHY TO SAY IT!!"

:I'LL KILL THAT BAKA: Inner Sakura screamed.

* * *

As many shouts filled the air a certain Hyuuga girl stood on the side thinking about HER Naruto-kun. She couldn't let Sakura hurt HER Naruto-kun and she had to save Naruto-kun from Sasuke-kun. Maybe now she would finally be able to tell Naruto-kun of her obsession, err, love of him and then they would live happily ever after. But this could only happen after Naruto-kun was rescued from Sasuke-kun's dark perversion. Tears appeared in her eyes as she thought of all the evil things Sasuke-kun was forcing Naruto-kun to do. A big blush appeared on her face as imagery took place of thoughts. She had to go rescue Naruto-kun now.

* * *

On another side a red-haired sand chunnin stood in the shadows with his arms crossed. Rage and killing intent surrounded the man. How dare Uchiha touch his property, the blond fox was his and only his. He would release Shukaku on all of these fools for daring to take what was his. The land and it's people would feel his rage, he would tear Uchiha apart for perverting his property. The loss of the fox's innocence should have been HIS job. Now he would have to be second. Sand whirled around Gaara as all fantasies he had of him and Naruto together turned to nightmares of Uchiha and Naruto. He would kill Uchiha over and over, his blood would coat walls for taking Naruto. _SASUKE WILL DIE!!_

* * *

Oh no, Hinata is looking serious. What to do, what to do? He thought news like this would stop her obsession with Naruto, but from the looks of it, it's only making her more determined. He could see now the only way to make her realize her love for him would be to kill Naruto. Yes, he thought, he must kill Naruto because then he would be there to comfort her in her pain. Maybe he ought to get his teammate to help, after all they were all on the same team. _Heh, begin Mission Love Kills, now. _The evil smirk and crazy glint in they eye was unnoticed by everyone, after all his collar and sunglasses hid his face.

* * *

Finally, Sakura-chan was free from Sasuke-kun's power. She would have to acknowledge his fiery spirit, great fashion sense, and overwhelming looks. His eyes began to flame with his enthusiasm. Sakura-chan after one glimpse at the true love of Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun would finally be free to admit her overwhelming and powerful love for him. Oh Gai-sensei would be so proud of him for having his true love realize her love for him. Tears began to stream down his face as he imagine Sakura-chan come running up to him shouting to the entire village her love for him. Five years down the road they would be married and a couple of years later there would be little miniature Rock Lee and Sakura-chans running around. Gai-sensei would be his kids godfather and later sensei and then then then…He shook his head, everyone was leaving. They were heading to Sasuke-kun's house.

* * *

The two men were unaware of their impending doom. Naruto was trying not to laugh as Sasuke maneuvered himself underneath Naruto. They had been doing it for hours and they still weren't tired yet. The TV still played on and Naruto positioned himself on top of Sasuke.

* * *

"PREPARE TO DIE NARUTO!!" Sakura screamed. 

"Yaoi love scene time here I come," Jiraiya muttered to himself.

"I GET TO PLAN MY LITTLE NARUTO'S WEDDING!!" Iruka shouted.

"Honey moon…" Kakashi muttered to himself then leered.

While this was being shouted or muttered the other ninjas were scouting for the two men. Using the Byakugan the two were quickly found (AN: For the sake of the story, no one could tell what they were doing ONLY find out where they are). Many were getting shuriken and kunai out ready to save or kill one of the two men. Everyone appeared in the room preparing to see the best, err, worst.

"AHHHHH," Naruto's shrill scream filled the air.

Naruto and Sasuke leapt off the floor and away from each other. One problem, they were fully dressed, second problem, Sasuke looked extremely pissed. (AN: How can you look really pissed yet at the same time show no emotion?)

"NARUTO DIE FOR PERVERTING SASUKE-KUN!!" Sakura screamed as she lunged at Naruto with a kunai. Hinata jumped forward to rescue her Naruto-kun, while Jiraiya was bugging Naruto about what perverted acts he and Sasuke were doing. He had to know everything since it was for his readers, and to further help his readers maybe they should demonstrate? Iruka was hugging Sasuke and asking when the wedding was going to be? Gaara wasn't sure who to kill first, the two battling girls, the bug dude, or Uchiha? Shino was trying to get at the perfect angle to kill Naruto.

"ERO-SENNIN!!! I WOULDN'T DO THAT TYPE OF _STUFF_ WITH THAT TEME!!! WE WERE PLAYING TWISTER!! DO YOU HEAR ME TWISTER….LOOK LOOK!!!" Naruto shouted at Jiraiya as he pointed to the floor in front of the couch. Jiraiya muttered about his yaoi love scene and walked in front of the couch. On the floor was a Twister mat and board.

"But what about the screams and moans I heard?" Kakashi asked.

"The TV, we've been watching 'The Next Karate Kid' for the past ten hours," Sasuke said calmly.

"Now. Get OUT," Sasuke said evenly.

"But Sasuke-kun…" Sakura began to speak.

"Get out now, you big-fore headed bitch."

Jiraiya felt his yaoi love scene go down the drains, his shoulders sagged and he left with a poof. Everyone looked embarrassed and left quickly and quietly. Sakura left crying with Lee trying to cheer her up. Shino tried to kill Naruto, but Gaara stopped him before he could do any damage. Hinata with a quick look at Naruto blushed and disappeared. Finally it was just the two of them again.

"Sasuke-teme, I challenge you to another game of Twister. This time I will defeat you!!"

"You think you can defeat me, dobe? Your on."

So their game of Twister went on much to the grief of the perverted minds of Konoha. Iruka wasn't going to be able to plan a wedding anytime soon. No yaoi love scene fro Jiraiya and Sakura was going to do tomorrow what she did everyday, ask Sasuke to go out with her. Kakashi eventually asked the Hokage why the two men were kicked off the same team as one another and she told him it was because their damn Twister game annoyed the hell out of the squad members. And so life in Konoha went on.

OR

Jiraiya felt his yaoi love scene go down the drains, his shoulders sagged and he left with a poof. Everyone looked embarrassed and left quickly and quietly. Sakura left crying with Lee trying to cheer her up. Shino tried to kill Naruto, but Gaara stopped him before he could do any damage. Hinata with a quick look at Naruto blushed and disappeared. Finally it was just the two of them again.

"Damn, Sasuke-teme, that was a close one."

"Hmmm, dobe."

"Don't call me that, teme."

"Why not? You are one."

"Damnit Sasuke, I'm leaving now," Naruto muttered as he moved from the bed. Sasuke reached out lazily and pulled Naruto back down beside him. Lucky for them that when he sensed that presence he got Naruto to create two Kage Bushin to leave down there. It would have been really annoying to have everyone find the two of them up in bed together in nothing but their birthday suits. It would have stopped the fun they were having since they hardly ever saw each other anymore. Damn that old hag for putting them on different teams. The only good thing she did was she swore the other team members to secrecy about their love affair. It's not his fault Naruto screamed so loudly, or that they were so noisy when making love. He grinned at the foolishness of the others they never wondered about the whole screaming and moaning that Kakashi heard.

"Dobe, we're going to have to watch out for Kakashi even more now."

"Why, teme?"

"Because I'm not sure we fooled him. Maybe we should stage a huge fight to convince him of our rivalry."

"Sure, Sasuke-teme."

So the next day, everyone heard about the big fight between Naruto and Sasuke. Something about everyone thinking he was gay because of stupid Sasuke-teme. The fight went on for a while before Kakashi got tired of it and broke them up. Of course getting in the middle of two battling ninjas was a bad idea so Kakashi got a little hurt. Being hit by a Rasengan and Chidori put him in the hospital for a while. Because Kakashi got hurt no one thought about the fact that both attacks were aimed at him and that both men walked each other home. Later that night at Uchiha manor if anyone was close enough to listen they would have heard screams and moans. And those rumors about them being lovers would have been actually listened to, instead of just being pushed aside as lies. The Hokage earned a big laugh when she heard the whole story and no one wondered why she muttered about a big jackpot on Jiraiya. So life went on in Konoha village.

* * *

AN: Okay that is that. This story is done, complete, whatever you wanna call it. Hope you like reviews needed, flames ignored. Also if you are reading my other story 'Yondaimes Legacy' don't worry my next chapter should be posted sometime next week. Anyhow later. OH just for a little note I put the XXXXX's in because well I felt like it and it helped the ending or one of the endings. 


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